Lucky Europe


Hey Handsome!

Europe is so lucky to have your gorgeousness over there giving them the business. Love seeing all the pictures and video clips of your performances. So freaky how light it is in Oslo at night, I forgot that happens over there… what other cool Earth weirdness are you experiencing right now I wonder…

Over here in NYC I am back to work full time (as of last Friday). We have a lot of new people on the crew this season. The production gave us these frames with our names for our desks (so everyone will know who everyone is). And they told us we should personalize them for fun. Today I did mine. It’s a cosmic mermaid collage and of course I snuck some symbolic tributes to you in there because that makes me happy and I LOVE to be happy.

…And you seem very happy from here, and that adds happiness to my happiness.

Stay Happy! Stay Healthy! Stay Strong! You Are Gorgeous! You Are Funny! You Are Brilliant!

You do that voodoo that you do so well!



All over the planet.



How cool is that?

Revel in it.

Feel how loved you are.

You have earned all that love.

Enjoy it.

OK I have to get back to our crazy nation. Wish me luck.



AKA The Cosmic Mermaid from Queens

When Mountains Crumble

Good Morning World Traveller,

Just thinking about you and wanted to say hi.

Have you ever seen this movie?


It’s one of my favorite love stories. It’s comedically twisted, boldly creative, deeply emotional and beautiful in ways that I think you would appreciate and enjoy.

It reminds me of what I love about your work, the comedically twisted, boldly creative, deeply emotional beauty in everything you do. That is why I want to ‘play’ with you, and why I want you to play with me.  Your mind IS like a Rubix Cube, but better, because you aren’t square or plastic or predictable in your outcome! You are a colorful, passionate, brilliant, multi-faceted, multi-disciplined, creative man that I feel like I know and understand, even though I don’t really know you or totally understand why I feel like I do.

If you are a Rubix Cube, so tempting to attempt, eternally challenging, and supremely fun and rewarding, I am more like Legos, colorful and scattered until all the pieces are bought together in a cheerful, super solid combination. I can be broken down again without any damage to my pieces and re-built over and over into new joy machines, ready to play again!




Insta-Therapy Kiss

Hey You,

How is your sexy, beautiful self? Wonderful I imagine. Feeling like the sexy king of sexy dreams I hope, because you are.

As you know I have some issues, so I have been following The Angry Therapist on Instagram and he has been helping me so much! He is really great. I saw his post just now and I wanted to leave it here for you. Even if everything I believe is only in my head what he wrote is still beautiful and good medicine.


You’re it.

Thank you for existing, Marshall Mathers, so I can dream about loving you.



June 26, 2018 – 8:08 AM

Dear Love,

We will both understand that there will be days when we can’t stand each other. There will be days when you will want to punch me in the face and I will want to take the long way home. We will disagree on things, like movies and books and politics, and what to buy at the grocery store. I will forget things. Misplace things. You will run late. Our friends will have opinions of us. We will fight. Maybe a lot. You will shut down. I will wonder. But at the end of the day, we will both come back—, to each other. And your head will always fall back on my chest. And no matter how many times we fight, we will always fight fair. That will be a non-negotiable. And we will be together knowing that we are choosing to be together. Not because of logic or loneliness or a ticking clock. Not because we look good on paper, take cute photos, or think we’ll make cute babies. Not because we’ve already committed to this. Not because we don’t want to be alone. But because we believe in us and make a choice every, single, day, to be in this and love each other the best way we know how. Our relationship will not be built on fear, as many are. But instead courage and transparency. And like any relationship, ours will also be hard. And like any relationship, there is no guarantee. We will not compare this to what was. Any residue we have from our past relationships we will work on individually. It is our own responsibility and what being in something healthy looks like. We will sharpen each other and I will make you feel beautiful and you will make me feel invincible and vice versa. The only thing we can promise is to be honest and love as hard as we can. We both know there is risk. We both know we can get hurt. But we are willing to put that on the line to experience the high notes of something meaningful. We will take responsibility for our own shit but also leave leaving room for magic, and settle for nothing less.

If you believe in this, tag your lover so you are both on the same page.


Your daughters are very lucky to have you. You made it very clear to the world that you would do anything to protect them. So I understand why you did some of the things you did, and said some of the things you said in your songs that maybe other people don’t understand. I really get it. It’s very easy to be misunderstood when people don’t consider the full context of a person’s situation while judging their specific actions.

You did one of the hardest things to do in the world, you raised your children. Even if you had done nothing else, even if your career had never happened, you raised your family. You did it! Not all the men in the world are good, accountable men like you. Not all the men in the world look out for their daughters, especially with the love and devotion that you do. Very few are strong enough to hold on to their dreams and their children like you have. On top of that you used your work to promote parenthood as mankind’s highest aspiration. That action will continue to radiate goodness. That love will go on forever. 

Happy Fathers’ Day! You should be very proud of yourself, always.

Have a wonderful time celebrating with your family.



Under The Dreaming Tree

Woke up to get ready to go to the beach. Haven’t worn a bikini in a couple of years (at least) and was trying them on. Feeling very good about how I am looking due to my renewed focus on fitness and nutrition and I decided to take a selfie just for you.


I bet you are looking mighty fine this morning. Are you still asleep? Are you naked? Are your eyes all gentle and soft and sweet from being in dreamland all night? If I was a better stalker I would know these things by now.

But I am no quitter. Believe that. Your sexy self is always on my mind. I wrote you a poem about my sexy dreams of you, inspired by another poem by @PaulyP9 on instagram.

Hope you like it.

Under The Dreaming Tree 2IMG_3959

Thank you for being you, Mr. Mathers. You are so attractive to me that I never stop trying to find ways to express how much I desire you and how fascinating I find you. My never ending lust for you keeps me learning and growing and helps me discover new things I love and appreciate about myself and the world.

Have a wonderful time being worshipped tonight! Revel in the devotion you have earned with your talent and your hard work and your unique voice and your incredible life journey. Enjoy the shining, grateful faces of the thousands of people who will be there to cheer for you. You have inspired them the way you have inspired me and that is how I know they love you like crazy!!!

Be safe always, please. Thank you for everything.



#Happy #Healthy #Strong


Chess Game

From 6/11/18
A young man who had a bitter disappointment in life went to a remote monastery and said to the abbot: “I am disillusioned with life and wish to be enlightened and freed from these sufferings. But I have no capacity for sticking with anything for a long time. I could never do long years of meditation and study. I always relapse and get drawn away by distractions, no matter how painful that may be. Is there any easy way for people like me?”

The abbot replied, “Yes, if you are really determined. Tell me, what have you studied, what have you concentrated on most in your life?”

“Why, nothing really.” he replied. “I suppose the only thing I was really interested in was chess. I spent most of my time at that.”

The abbot then summoned for a monk and a chessboard. The game was set up for them to play against each other. He then sent for a sword and showed it to both of them. “Both of you will play a game of chess and whoever loses, shall have his head cut off with this sword. Since chess is the only thing this young man has ever tried hard at, if he loses, he deserves to lose his head.”

They began to play. With the opening moves, the youth felt nervous as he played for his life. The chessboard became the whole world; he was entirely concentrated on it. At first, he wasn’t doing so well in the game, but then his opponent made an inferior move and he seized his chance to launch a strong attack. He looked covertly at his opponent as his chances of winning looked slimmer. He saw a face of intelligence and sincerity, worn with years of austerity and effort. He thought of his own worthless life, and a wave of compassion came over him. He deliberately made a blunder and then another, ruining his position and leaving himself defenseless.

The abbot suddenly leaned forward and stopped the game. He said, “There is no winner and no loser. There is no head to fall here. Only two things are required,” he said as he turned to the young man, “complete concentration and compassion. You have learned both of these today. You were completely concentrating on the game, but then in that concentration you could feel compassion and sacrificed your life for it. Now you may remain here and pursue our training.”

Author Unknown

Daydreaming At Night

Hello There You,

Enjoying all of the pictures of you from your shows. Forgetting how to write English because I am used to commenting with hearts and flames when ever I see images of you now. Your nose is so awesome, I love it from every angle. I love your beard, but I love your naked chin too. I love that your sexy naked chin is somewhere under your sexy wild beard. And your eyes, not sure I will be able to handle them in person, up close, without completely losing my mind forever. I am willing to risk any and all side effects of such a miracle, including my instantaneous death from heart and/or head explosion, and I am willing to sign a legal document to that effect. You know already that I love your nipples 😛 but do you know how much I love your hands? I am obsessed with your hands. Strong. Sexy. Masculine. Hardworking. Expressive. Talented. Beautiful. Artful. Hands, yours. Both of them. I stare at them whenever I can. I love how you use them when you talk and perform.

Hope your week is going smoothly. Imagining you happy as you get ready to celebrate life with your fans this weekend.



An Offer You Can’t Abuse

Good Evening Mr. Controversy,

I had to go to Brooklyn today. Yes. I left the house. Now, I am back in my womb.

The internet is telling me some people are giving you a hard time about pyrotechnics. I hope it’s not getting you down. If it is getting you down I can do a dance for you, a ridiculous dance, the dance to end all dances, I can do a dance so outrageous in it’s ridiculousness that all of your troubles would instantly vanish because my ridiculous moves would work like a magic eraser and wipe away all of your misery with every single shimmy I shake, but I will NOT stop there, I will keep dancing until you start laughing, first with your eyes and then with your belly and then your mouth until you also have to jump up and dance! Let’s make a deal. This is what I can do for you if you’re interested. I can do this RIGHT NOW. Free of charge. Or 50% off if you prefer to throw away your hard earned tears, that’s right. This dance cannot be bought with money. It can only be bought with your tears or the threat of your tears or the memory of your tears, but as advertised above I am totally willing to give you the misery erasing ridiculous dance FREE OF CHARGE (use code #usosexymarshall at checkout), Yes. That’s right! Any time you want, just for YOU, I will give YOU a personalized misery erasing ridiculous dance for the price of NO TEARS! That’s right, you don’t even have to be miserable or sad to benefit from this special unlimited time offer! One size fits you, no matter how small or big you get even if you throw out this coupon in a fit of exhaustion from being too happy all the time. This offer can be combined with other ridiculous offers from me. And if you act now I will throw in the ridiculous song of songs for an additional 99% off AND I’ll throw in a ridiculous rebate for the other 1%! That means you get an unlimited lifetime supply of misery erasing ridiculous dances PLUS ridiculous songs of songs for the amazing, stupendous, remarkable, fantastic, delightful, sublime, supernatural, attractive, alluring, sensuous, seductive price of nothing!

That is my solemn pledge. Ridiculous and real.

Bang, bang.