Rainy Days

Hey Sexy Beast,

I am sorry I keep writing to you. Trying to figure out life. Right now I am in Puerto Rico. This is where my family is from. Missing my grandparents very much.

Have been writing, thinking, evaluating everything about my life. Having intense dreams about you since I have been here.

My first night here, in the dream you were showing me a book where you kept a record of all the times you thought of me and I was just crying and crying and you were so sweetly turning the pages and comforting me with your arm around me as we turned the pages together. On the last page of the book you showed me a picture of my art and you said you wanted to make art with me and I cried and told you that I didn’t want to create anything without you. You held me and I said that I wanted you to be the father of my work because you are the only man I trust. I woke up and the bed, the pillow, my nightgown, everything, all the layers of bedding were soaking wet.

The next night I dreamt that we told each other that we loved each other. Then we went out on the town, all over the place smiling and laughing and everyone was happy to see us together. At one point I thought we got separated in a crowd but when I turned around to find you, you were right behind me, on my right side. I looked and you were picking your nose! You were not looking at me and you were hoping no one saw you as you pulled the most disgusting booger out of your nose and I smiled and all I could feel for you was tremendous love and relief for you that you got that giant, gross thing out of your nose so you could breathe properly. All I wanted to do was kiss you and make love to you. But I turned away instead and pretended that I didn’t see you picking your nose so you wouldn’t be embarrassed. Then I woke up.

My third night here, last night, I dreamt that I was here, alone in Puerto Rico surrounded by strangers and it started raining. I was surprised because (in real life) the weather predicted perfect skies this week. Then I woke up and realized it was just a dream. It was so sunny this morning as predicted. Went to a museum but I wasn’t feeling well so I came back to my room to have lunch on my balcony and it just started raining for real! It was just a brief rain and it has already passed And everything smells like sweet fresh rain.

Writing to you to tell you I am thinking of you and to tell you how much gratitude I have for you being on Earth and to tell you how special you are. You are the King of my Dreams. This is not a plea for you to work with me or to be with me or anything like that. All I want for you is for you (and me) is to be happy and healthy and strong. This is just another admission about how much your life influences me and means to me and how much I admire you and how small I feel in comparison to you sometimes and how significant you are to me as a symbol of perfect and pure masculine love.

I hope you are well and that I will one day have the strength to stop stalking you here. Stop showing up in my dreams, that will make it a lot easier.

Photo taken in San Juan, Puerto Rico

#RainyDays

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s