Good Morning, Sexy Beast!
Hope you had a great time ringing in the new year. My evening was eventful. Even though the police were very nice to me I still have to go to court in April. It is NOT legal to smoke a joint while walking down the street in New York City. It’s just a summons but I am still so mad at myself.
I resent that weed is illegal. It has really helped me cope with the trauma of being human, but I would be lying if I said it hasn’t held me back in several ways. It has and I have consciously made compromises to return to and to maintain my habit. My deep rejection of armed authority drives my stubbornness. I do not deserve to be punished when I am productive and pay taxes and do not generate debt just because I choose to use my free time feeling calm, quiet, peaceful, one-with-nature and gentle. I do not like being at the intellectual and spiritual mercy of any system enforced by armed individuals. I do not like being cast as a villain when my intentions were to just relax before bed. I certainly have no desire to smoke after being grilled by cops right around the corner from my fancy staycation hotel. 😞
Is this the sign I needed to quit smoking pot once and for all? I have quit before but I notice I always go back when I feel like I am unable to disconnect easily/quickly from the stressful expectations I put on myself or I that I feel from other people. It dawned on me the other day that just like in the movie ‘Half Baked” weed is my boyfriend and food is “our” sex. 😂😭😂😂😂 Mighty Prince Savage Machismo was so pissed at me when I came back to the room and told him what happened, and I was so sad that I disappointed him. He forgave me, he understood why I did it and why it happened. He could tell I felt real shame and remorse, then he snuggled me like crazy to let me know that it will be okay.
That was yesterday. Today we had a delicious room service breakfast first thing this morning. Right now, Mighty Prince Savage Machismo is rocking the candy necklace I got him and we are staying in bed to watch movies together all day.
We just watched The Out-Of-Towners with Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis. Next we are watching The Beaver with Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster, (if you haven’t seen it, you MUST! … you’ll see…) then we might binge watch Ricky Gervais’ hilarious series An Idiot Abroad.
Whatever you decide to do today have a wonderful time. Be proud of yourself for all of your strength and wisdom and maturity. Be proud of yourself for being strong enough to face your demons head on and for being strong enough to tame them as swiftly as you did. You deserve all the peace of mind and deep joy that comes from being as strong and as responsible and accountable as you are. Do not sacrifice your inherent strength, your hard earned peace of mind, or your much deserved joy for anyone or anything. ❤️ OK? That is an order from Mighty Prince Savage Machismo and me.