A Very Merry Unbirthday To You

Had a dream the other night that I was sitting next to Eminem and he put a gift for me on the keyboard of my computer when he thought I wasn’t looking. It was two pieces of steel jewelry for my hair. They were butterflies and each one was the same kind of butterfly, but they had different clasps and fastened differently. I thanked him as I put them in my hair. Then I woke up.

Every year I write a birthday message to my heroes Marshall Mathers, Eminem and Slim Shady on my cybershrine to him, and last year I just couldn’t do it, for a lot of reasons that would sound wayyyyyyy too crazy to write here. All I could do was make this website and hope I was doing the right thing on that day. It’s not easy to explain what it’s like to be a superfreak like me.  And maybe this sounds crazy too, but every day I feel huge regret that I didn’t write my usual birthday message to someone I do not know and have never met.

Just watched a video of Proof throwing a surprise party for my Rap God on the Shady Records site and I decided to upload this now, inspired by his joyful soul. It’s at my friend, Rebecca’s birthday party and midway through the song I decided to film it so I could put it on my cybershrine to say Happy Birthday to Eminem too. But why wait to upload it on his next birthday when I can wish him all the best on his Unbirthday!


A very merry unbirthday to me
To who?
To me
Oh you!
A very merry unbirthday to you
Who me?
Yes, you!
Oh, me!
Let’s all congratulate us with another cup of tea
A very merry unbirthday to you!
Now, statistics prove, prove that you’ve one birthday
Imagine, just one birthday every year
Ah, but there are three hundred and sixty four unbirthdays!
Precisely why we’re gathered here to cheer
A very merry unbirthday to you, to you
To me?
To you!
A very merry unbirthday
For me?
For you!
Now blow the candle out my dear
And make your wish come true
A merry merry unbirthday to you!

Merry Unbirthday My Hero! Thank you for being the force in this world that inspires me above all others, Eminem. You give me and so many millions of people so much hope and joy. May every one of your days be full of fun and surprises, Shady. May you always be surrounded by love, enjoy perfect health and everlasting creative bliss! You are a miracle, Marshall and I’m so grateful for everything you do to be you!








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