Had a dream the other night that I was sitting next to Eminem and he put a gift for me on the keyboard of my computer when he thought I wasn’t looking. It was two pieces of steel jewelry for my hair. They were butterflies and each one was the same kind of butterfly, but they had different clasps and fastened differently. I thanked him as I put them in my hair. Then I woke up.
Every year I write a birthday message to my heroes Marshall Mathers, Eminem and Slim Shady on my cybershrine to him, and last year I just couldn’t do it, for a lot of reasons that would sound wayyyyyyy too crazy to write here. All I could do was make this website and hope I was doing the right thing on that day. It’s not easy to explain what it’s like to be a superfreak like me. And maybe this sounds crazy too, but every day I feel huge regret that I didn’t write my usual birthday message to someone I do not know and have never met.
Just watched a video of Proof throwing a surprise party for my Rap God on the Shady Records site and I decided to upload this now, inspired by his joyful soul. It’s at my friend, Rebecca’s birthday party and midway through the song I decided to film it so I could put it on my cybershrine to say Happy Birthday to Eminem too. But why wait to upload it on his next birthday when I can wish him all the best on his Unbirthday!
A very merry unbirthday to me
A very merry unbirthday to you
Let’s all congratulate us with another cup of tea
A very merry unbirthday to you!
Now, statistics prove, prove that you’ve one birthday
Imagine, just one birthday every year
Ah, but there are three hundred and sixty four unbirthdays!
Precisely why we’re gathered here to cheer
A very merry unbirthday to you, to you
A very merry unbirthday
Now blow the candle out my dear
And make your wish come true
A merry merry unbirthday to you!
Merry Unbirthday My Hero! Thank you for being the force in this world that inspires me above all others, Eminem. You give me and so many millions of people so much hope and joy. May every one of your days be full of fun and surprises, Shady. May you always be surrounded by love, enjoy perfect health and everlasting creative bliss! You are a miracle, Marshall and I’m so grateful for everything you do to be you!
Went to the gym to blow off some steam, after being called repulsive on Genius.com for trying to get people to pay attention to what Hillary Clinton is really saying in her AIPAC speech. That fucking bitch is trying to start a war. Fuck her.
Usually I bring my ipod and listen to rap when I work out, mostly listen to Eminem and Public Enemy. But I didn’t have it charged so I left without it.
After working out I went into the sauna and there was a stack of fashion magazines inside, which was weird, I have never seen magazines in there before. The one on top mentioned the main fashion layout was about fashion in Detroit. Right away I felt like an angel was looking out for me. I smiled and opened the magazine to an ad with big type that said, “A Little Bit Wrong, in The Right Way.”, which I felt described perfectly what I had written on Genius.com
I flipped through the magazine. Read some articles. Read an interview. Was happy to see that Sarah Burton is making some beautiful revolutionary couture for Alexander McQueen, rest his brilliant soul. My time in the sauna was almost up. I usually do 30 minutes and the clock was at 28. I turned the page. I was now on the first page of the Detroit fashion spread and there taking up a full page was an image of a girl’s face and she was wearing an Eminem hat.
Detroit Vs. Everybody
Just read an article in the New York Daily News about Kim coming out and announcing that she tried to commit suicide last year and I want to leave a message of support for her, here.
Never say die, Kim. Never! There are so many people in this world who understand what you have been through and admire your strength and are rooting for you and who want you to be happy.
Growing up poor and feeling hopeless time and time again re-wires us and it is so easy to revert back into that hopeless feeling when something bad happens that makes us depressed. It’s so hard to develop new patterns of thinking that don’t take us to those dark places but it can be done. I have been there, on the edge myself and it is hell, (was just posting about it here two days ago because I was finally feeling super hopeful, like I won’t ever feel like that again.) but those moments do happen and they are dark but remember you are loved in this world and people need you in this world. And you are strong and you are a fighter, Kim. That’s what I admire about you from afar, down here in fandom.
Choose joy, Kim. You deserve to be happy and healthy and making many more joyful memories with all of your family and friends.
Sisterhood and solidarity.